Somewhere, just a skosh on the outskirts of a small Bulgarian shtetlwithin a hto wasteland of a half-constructed tanning salon, a deep guttural cry pierces the pre-dawn greyness. It is a pure, atonal inchoate note of dissatisfaction. A foghorn clarion call that rises like a smokestack into the turgid, Eastern European air. It is The Gator.
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The former king of scrote-choadal greasewankery tilts his leathery visage. Surveys the ruins of his once exalted kingdom. His face-lumps pulse in contemplation. Rough hewn veins bulge from decades of chemical abuse locked in perpetual battle with Botoxian preservation.
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The Axe Bodyspray long ago exhausted its pyrrhic scent like a lingering, somnambulant roadkill exhaling one last misty gasp before ending its mortal coil.
The once pulsing techno soundtrack to a life of perpetual motion has been replaced only by the faint howls of wind and failed purchasing power. For sale on Ebay. A grackle lands on a wooden stump.
Regards the sagging, semi-hulken slugworth slumped in front of it like a discarded baggage of unrecycled cookie dough. The Gator looks up. His ruddy eyes fixate on the small bird through wrinkled, heavy, tangelo-colored eyelids. Then scratches his leathery orange pec-hide with a coarse, ripping sound.
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The ragged skin undulates like a vomiting coelacanth. Orange is the head that once wore the crown. Your humble narrator is safely ensconced in Anfeles aged Fau free sex web cam Fort wayne this afternoon. Little running around time these days. A lot less humorous. A lot less fun. Never forget the stupid years. This site may be no more, but I leave it up as an uncanny relic of time past and oft forgotten.
For hoyties do not go gentle into that good internight. We rage, rage, against the orange of the blight. The ephemeral pulsing life beat of our collective past, once horrific in its repetitive drone and emblematic of the lost specter of meaning, now receding in a haze of otherness. As our memory shifts and grows more distant. From factual present to recent past.
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What once was and can never be again. So where did all those rank stench pics that fueled the HCwDB run actually come from? A question I used to get a lot. I was and am far too lazy to do any real work on the internets. So I relied on the kindness of douche mocking strangers to fill my site with mock fuel.
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Display only minimal peacockery to signal the females of the species that their alpha dog status remains hugamabob and grindular. This shminky rends the space-time continuum with Spielbergian aplomb and apoop. All is wrong in Sheboygan, said the calico cat as it upchucked a half eaten squirrel outside Decatur. May you and yours cuddle by the fire and enjoy a hearty cup of Egg Nogginor whatever it lookin the Christians are drinking these days.
But I am not here to rant 2 hot guys looking for Los Angeles hotties the current angry, white Christo-douchepocalpyse that has taken hold in our country. Or even the Orange Douchepocalpyse of yesteryear. No, not even the unholy Star Wars alien teat milk that is Crissmas Angel. A better world is not that far off.
The Ghosts of Douchemas Past may haunt us yet, but tomorrow is another day. And the mock never truly dies. Those legendary crust warriors of Jersey Prom infamy live on today on 2 hot guys looking for Los Angeles hotties search engines and in the hearts and stomachs of millions.
Just as this humble website was reaching its ascendant heights in those halcyon days of the mid aughts, along came the crystalline distillation of all that had gone poo-licious in a loojing, fetid societal dump on the face of good taste and decorum. We tried to warn the world of the dangers the Oompa Prompas represented. Even when off for some private quality bro loojing.
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They were a danger to all that is good and holy. And we knew it. But I am not here to talk about our gawdawful present.
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Let just say Vegas is in my heart today. And I am here to reminisce about a more playful era. In addition to the legends that are the Prompas, there was The Dude with a Lot of Popped Collarswho made a second, less famous appearance here. And, of course, the condenced ballsackian mildew of Long Island: One month with enough scrotal loooking to keep a hundred pop culture historians unpacking inter-gender dynamics for a millennium and a fortnight.
IF you were there with me back then, I salute you. Sadly, all the comments in the message boards from that era 2 hot guys looking for Los Angeles hotties accidentally deleted when the site was upgraded to its new servers.
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The 2 hot guys looking for Los Angeles hotties seeks sustenance. And, going solo, the Starblazer wears zebra pants and poses like looknig crispy mirrored twigwaffle. HCwDB wrapped up in or maybe early ? Certainly not as we enter the political douchepocalypse that has enveloped. Kinda hard to find joy in the assinine foibles and bad taste of youth dating when the world is toking a shmeg pipe filled with rat poop and pumpkin seed.
Perhaps obvious douchewanks with hot chicks in tow have vanished like Rollo Tomase chasing Keyser Soze.
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The Woo Hotts, long gone. 2 hot guys looking for Los Angeles hotties moment Angepes silence. Oh yes, the grackle knows. Too much time has passed for the Gator to still be here. The Gator is exhausted. Long live The Gator. HCwDB of the Year 13 comments.
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Tuesday, February 27, Spy on Vegas: In checking my old stomping grounds, the Vegas Wonkery is still present. But far more muted than in its hair spike heyday.