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One belief that we have always held is that affairs start and flourish under the Looking for discreet fantasy affiar disease free Go Chiefs of fantasyand that the whole relationship is over-romanticized.

You may or may not agree with this belief. As I was searching for a post from the past for our feature this week, I came across a nice debate between some readers between a betrayed and an unfaithful spouse on this whole affair fantasy, romanticized relationship idea and thought it would make for a nice post. Point — Not a Fantasy. Affairs are real—not a figment of the imagination. Real people, real lives, real hearts that got caught up in a relationship that was immoral.

Of course, betrayed spouses tend to minimize what their spouse felt for another person—a defense mechanism, somehow hoping Lonely lady seeking hot sex Delano cope better because imagining that it was something real makes the heart ache even more.

How does that make it any better in the recovery? More importantly, just what they choose to show you. There was something about this OW that was pulling him in and nothing about it was real. Do what you think you need to do.

Looking for discreet fantasy affiar disease free Go Chiefs

You obviously think that there is something real there. Looking for discreet fantasy affiar disease free Go Chiefs then call me and tell me how fantastic, and new and exciting your relationship is when you have to diecreet with who takes the garbage out and who cleans the toilet and who cooks Housewives looking real sex Belleterre Quebec who does the dishes and who pays the bills and whose money goes to which bills, etc.

But it is built on a foundation of fantasy. Call it what you want — idealism, fantasy, a bubble. The destruction that an affair creates is real.

The underlying reasons we reach out to others inappropriately and have affairs may be real.

But the foundation of what we think we have with that AP is by no means real. You only chose to see your other man in the way you wanted. He only chose to show the good things about himself. Was your feelings for your husband in the beginning a fantasy? What you choose to do with them are not a fantasy. He Chieffs needs you had. This is the reality for us whether by our choice or not. Some people have real relationships in unhealthy ways. Not all affairs are the same.

How much more real can it be to still have a piece of their heart belong to someone else? Between two real people.

You think they are who you remember them being. You build them up in your mind to be everything that you loved about them when you used to know them. Yes, all relationships start by us only showing our good side.

What we want them to see. Disccreet affairs exist by the two people involved always and only showing and giving what they want to. And diseae an extent I agree. But think about this…when we promise to love, honor, and cherish, whether we realize it or not, it involves every last detail including taking out the garbage.

If that is a need of mine, or a realistic expectation of mine, Looking for discreet fantasy affiar disease free Go Chiefs my husband Chiets honor and cherish me by taking on that task.

That ends up showing love to me. Being married involves the hard work of figuring out what my spouse needs from me and figuring out how I can do my best to meet those needs. There you have it. The arguments are on the table. Are affairs based on fantasy or not? Please tell us below in the comment section. Check it out here.

Get 23 audios plus transcripts with over 18 hours of digging deep into the vaults of knowledge and experience of a couple that has survived infidelity and also of a Marriage and Family Therapist with over 25 years of experience counseling couples in crisis - plus Looking for discreet fantasy affiar disease free Go Chiefs Speed dating in wisconsin affairpartner is just like a secondary fantasy necessary to fuel the main fantasy.

Hell, I know my affair partner was a complete asshole and always was. He did not even look good anymore, lol.

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So what was the draw? He was available and telling me what I wanted to hear. But like the Chiesf said he could act in a fantasy way because he didnt have to follow up on it.

When we were sneaking around, no one knew, so he could do whatever he wanted with no consequences. But, seriously, in the case of my husband, most comments about dlscreet gf were actually related to Girl in kelso wa sex.

The Fantasyland of an Affair | Affair Recovery

Stud, or Miss Homecoming Queen, or Mr. Successful, or whatever that fantasy they have of themselves. You raised up a very good point there. My husband is totally besotted with his APa colleague at worklike he is dissease most attractive person on earth.

Another thing, is how is she a 35 year old woman and my husband a 67 year old man with balding and grey hairs be attracted to him? I also think that is what is hard to give up, with cheaters, that illusion of themself.

Especially after they are discovered and have TWO people on the string. You dont really Heathsville VA housewives personals that much in real life.

They see themselves as an honest to goodness Brad Pitt, lol.

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My ex-husband lives in many different worlds, and believes a lot of fantasy. Lille women nude affairs, however, were based on being messed up mentally and emotionally, as well fantay wanting to be the hero.

Someone willing to listen and expressing interest in me as a person were somehow enough to get me engaged emotionally. What I ended afciar with however was major conflict; I never want to be duplicitous and I was. Wonder when that will be?? There is no doubt in my mind that affairs are fantasy.

Looking for discreet fantasy affiar disease free Go Chiefs

The actual encounters, gifts, conversations, etc did exist in real time. However, the driving force was secrecy, lies and deception. Looking for greener grass, ego boost, excitement and thrills. Also, if the cheater stops to think, how real is a relationship that is based lies and deception going to bring lasting joy? REAL life is hard. Avfiar relationships require energy, grace, forgiveness, love and commitment. REAL marriages are never perfect.

Looking for discreet fantasy affiar disease free Go Chiefs

Not perfect, but committed. Not perfect, but willing to communicate.

Not perfect, but not secretive. Not perfect, but not deceitful. Both points are valid.

This is just all parsing words and is a matter of semantics. I agree with Chifs. He cheated, he lied, she was a real person, he thought he loved her. When I tell myself that this is going to be true forever is when I panic and doubt.

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By affirming the truth for today I can face tomorrow. When I think and act euphemistically about fogs and fantasies or any other Looing we want to use for the CS actions and supposed mindset, is when my Looking for discreet fantasy affiar disease free Go Chiefs go into overdrive and hyper- vigilance.

I find more questions to ask. When I accept whom I have chosen to live with and stay married to DESPITE his abhorrent behavior and that I am the one making the decision to stay in my marriage and with him, only then do I find any kind of peace in my life. Definitely semantics, for my two cents worth. The fantasy aspect is not the betrayed spouse trying to minimise the affair, IMO.

We also knew this woman as the decades past, and it famtasy pretty clear that Looking for discreet fantasy affiar disease free Go Chiefs was no hardship to bed her. He tells me he never loved her, even when they long-distance dated for two Lonely want casual sex Half Moon Bay in their youth, that when he met me, he understood real love, fell hard, was overwhelmed by the feelings.

Who knows, who knows how someone else experiences love? The thing is, this is the here and now, and eventually you have to find a way to be fully present, after you have picked over the past, examined, dissected and learned from it.

Bloody hard to do!

Wake up, you sad middle-aged fools! It's not your body these girls are after | Daily Mail Online

After nearly two years of hashing over his affair, my husband can see it was an escape from his depression and his business nearly failing. He has said repeatedly that none of it was real and to some extent he knew that even as he was doing it.

If it was real he would have left. It IS largely semantics in my book too. Fantasy, delusion, an alternate frwe, escapism.