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Please enable Javascript in your browser and try again. AARP relationship experts Dr. Pepper Schwartz and Michael Castleman examine the up- and downsides of granting a mate a free ticket to sexual adventure — with someone else.

I was flipping channels the other night when I came across the nearly unwatchable Hall Passa simpleminded movie with an even simpler premise: Casuzl the partners in a long-term marriage get sexually antsy, they start fantasizing — seriously fantasizing — about strangers. Their rationale seems to be that a lighthearted fling might Wife want casual sex Denning an actual affair. Also implied Reno Nevada girls nude the notion that a good marriage should be able to withstand this sort of sexual generosity.

No matter how casual its immediate lustful attraction, sex often develops into an emotional bond — one that could threaten the original couple.

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I also xex that most people are way more territorial than they let on. Even if both parties agreed to the experiment ahead of time, learning what happened in the sex lab can haunt one or both spouses so much that it destroys the relationship.

Your own hall pass, of course, is unlikely to feature a million-dollar proposition from Robert Redford. So consider the potential emotional fallout from getting, or granting, a hall pass of your own: Regardless of what the two of you consent to in advance, you could easily find yourselves unable to handle Wife want casual sex Denning emotional wreckage of casuwl own hearts. This time off could include having sex outside the relationshipbut it remained unknowable to and inviolable by the other party.

Their arrangement worked beautifully for more than 40 years. Then came the rocky night when Cheddar morning sex play emerged that the husband had always Wifw the pact as purely theoretical, whereas his wife had been putting it into regular practice.

Though causal to learn that his wife had Wife want casual sex Denning redeeming her hall pass, he was forced to simmer down when she reminded him that he had agreed to this state of affairs four decades earlier.

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The Wife want casual sex Denning percent clause was kept in place. The relationship stayed strong and happy. I understand the desire for sexual variety and adventure. Loyalty and exclusiveness build the trust and commitment that a relationship needs to endure. Non-monogamy happens, sure — but to build it into a marriage is way too risky. I recently watched Hall Passtoo.

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Like Pepper, I found it eminently forgettable. Polygamy was common in the Bible. In ancient Britain, that well-known sex commentator Julius Caesar reported that its counterpart, polyandry one woman, wznt menWife want casual sex Denning a common practice.

And the Lusi of Papua, New Guinea, believe that healthy fetal development requires pregnant women to have intercourse with many men. Finally, some cultures have standing free-for-alls: Inanthropologist Thomas Gregor counted 88 active sexual relationships among the 37 adults of a single village in the Amazon.

Non-monogamy occurs in urban tribes, too. The former are open to anyone; the latter are open to couples and single women.

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This explains why some couples consider it more of a risk to insist on monogamy and create the conditions for secret affairs than to grant a hall pass every now and then. With a third couple, the two spouses are monogamous at home but grant each other hall passes when they travel solo for business. Each partner is allowed to visit his or her secondary about once a month or when the spouse is out of Wife want casual sex Denning.

But we enjoy playing outside our marriage, usually with people we both know socially, sometimes with people one of us knows from work.

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Arrangements that work well may look bizarre to outsiders. Read more from Dr. Pepper Schwartz and Michael Castleman. See the AARP home page for deals, savings tips, trivia and more.

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Once you confirm that subscription, you will regularly receive communications related to AARP volunteering. In the meantime, please feel free Wife want casual sex Denning search for ways to make a difference in your community at www.

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Javascript is not enabled. Alamy Non-monogamy happens — but is it smart to build it into a marriage? What do I think?

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See what the survey reveals is "normal" 10 foods to avoid ssx you fly Match your interests with AARP Wife want casual sex Denning opportunities See the AARP home page for deals, savings tips, trivia and more. Please leave your comment below. Join or Renew Today! Please don't Sex contact me this again for 90 days. Your email address is now confirmed.

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